Mom-o-pedia

8 Aug

"Mom, we'll take 'Facts about Geodes' for $200, please."

In the past 24 hours I have been asked:

  • to evaluate a “cracked” tooth (nope, just loose)
  • to fix a broken toy car
  • to determine how best to wash a set of curtains
  • to determine whether the dog(s) had – variously – eaten too much butter, lost a puppy tooth and/or needed a bath
  • to  explain where geodes come from
  • to locate and purchase all the items on a school supply list
  • to determine why hubby’s knee hurts when he does “this”
  • to cook
  • to re-attach a piece of moulding in the kitchen
  • to locate any number of items throughout the house
  • to download “that song with the lady singing about the Barbie”
  • and then answer “what’s a men a twa”? (menage a trois – thanks Katy Perry)
  • and referee more conflicts than the United Nations.

Or, that could have been in the last 30 minutes. It’s a blur, really.

First of all – haven’t my kids ever heard of Google? (Note to self, teach kids how to Google.)

Second – whoa! Show of hands – how many of you knew you would have to be what amounts to a walking Wikipedia before you had children? I didn’t. When they were babies, I clearly wasted valuable time trying to figure out the best ways to, y’ know, keep them alive. I realize now I should have invested more time watching Jeopardy and The History Channel.

In my house, I’m the one that makes the call as to whether or not a cut requires stitches, the bruise requires an x-ray or, if we need to call poison control. (And yes, we have called. Once. Toddlers really will eat anything.) I’m also the one that locates all missing items. We call that “House Concentration” – I am the champion. I determine whether a certain young lady’s ensemble has crossed the line from “cute” to “hussy”.  I am also expected to keep up on the latest information regarding school policies, nutrition, pop culture and age-appropriate cinema. Also, basic carpentry and interior decorating. I think I should be able to call watching HGTV a job requirement, no?

On any given day, mothers may be called upon to illuminate the finer points of algebra, urban legends or Katy Perry’s lyrics. And we do. Because we’re The Mom. There is just so much we need to know.

Or at least know that we don’t know so we can check the internet.

I applaud you, Mom-o-pedias.
(I know there are Dads out there who do the same and I applaud you, too.)

How does it go in your house? Do your kids ask a million questions too?

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6 Responses to “Mom-o-pedia”

  1. Amy Lamberto August 8, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    that day sounds like my every day, except the Katy Perry lyrics.

    • Beth - Realist Mom August 8, 2011 at 11:21 pm #

      Be grateful you don’t have to deal with the lyrics yet! Thanks for commenting!

  2. saramitchell August 9, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

    I used to kill my parents with non-stop questions. It got so bad some days that my dad would say “OK, this is no question Saturday. Absolutely no questions are allowed to be asked!” lol!

    • Beth - Realist Mom August 9, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

      Ooooh! No Question Saturday – I like that idea!! Thanks for dropping by!

  3. Hattie August 9, 2011 at 6:06 pm #

    My kids are relentless in their questioning. Thankfully they are still at an age where I can make stuff up and they believe me. When they ask me how I know so much or how I can do so many things I tell them I am magic. And for now, they actually believe me!

    • Beth - Realist Mom August 9, 2011 at 6:53 pm #

      You mean I’m not magic?! Darn. : )
      I’ve found the questions keep getting tougher but I still make stuff up sometimes!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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