Hollister Mom. Oxymoron?

30 Sep

Hollister. Adolescent retail haven. You can actually hear the store before you lay eyes on it, because the pop music blaring out of its faux-weathered cabana-like exterior is so loud you almost wish you were old enough to have a hearing aid you could turn down. That is Hollister’s first line of defense against a more mature crowd. If you do manage to penetrate the boundary, the secondary deterrent features lighting so dim I have trouble determining the colors of most of the clothes, let alone details like size. And then there’s the smell. It can only be described as the cloying smell of too much hibiscus mixed with the scent of Axe and adolescent desperation. (Although, I think Axe IS the official body spray of puberty – didn’t I read that in one of their ads?)

Suffice it to say, it is a store I would only enter if shopping for or with one of my daughters, as they do their part to stimulate the economy.


I do love me a good bargain.

Here would be a good place to tell you that my daily uniform consists of jeans and a t-shirt, over which I often throw a sweater or jacket because a) then I don’t look like such a slob and b) because I am always cold. In fact, I could dedicate an entire post on how I can sit poolside while my friends sunbathe, with a towel over my lap to keep out the chill. But I won’t. Just know that I appreciate a nice t-shirt.

And we’re back.

I won’t bore you with the gory details, but let’s just say I found some great t-shirts in Hollister, that were marked down and then 50% off on top of that. So, in shopping math, free almost. So I bought them. For myself. Just plain t-shirts in colors like white, navy and grey.

The t-shirt under discussion.

I wore one the other day when I picked the big girl up from cross-country practice, that little red Hollister seagull over the left side of my chest flapping away. And as I stood there waiting, I had a moment. A genuine, honest-to-goodness, rock-my-world moment.ย 

Am I too old for this t-shirt?

There have most certainly been clothes I can no longer wear, trends I can’t embrace because I can’t pull them off or because they wouldn’t be flattering, or, more commonly lately, I already wore the look the first time around. For the first time ever, I wondered if I looked like I was trying too hard, like I was trying to be a cool mom but coming across as a dork mom. Not because I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, instead, because of that stupid bird.

It was the first time I ever really felt my age. The first time I thought I shouldn’t do something that I can do because I am too old.

I have to be honest – there is something about that feeling that I do not like. A vague sense of something that feels uncomfortable. Have you ever had the feeling that the way you see yourself, the way you think of yourself could be out-of-sync with how the world perceives you?

It’s the feeling that I have begun to make the transition from “awesome mom” to someone who inspires exasperated sighs and eye rolls because “I just don’t understand.” Does a Hollister t-shirt try to deny that inevitable transition?

Maybe I’m giving that little seagull too much power. Or maybe I just shouldn’t wear that t-shirt with my skinny jeans.


2 Responses to “Hollister Mom. Oxymoron?”

  1. lexy3587 September 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    ridiculous… if a tshirt fits, wear it! Plus, that tshirt in the pic looks cute. As long as your kids know that you aren’t trying to ‘be just like them’, you won’t be eye-roll worthy ๐Ÿ™‚
    just… don’t be the mom with sweatpants with some crude saying on the back. No-one wants their mom’s bum to be labeled ‘sexy’ or ‘bootilicious’, regardless of its shape ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. judy schmid September 30, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    I agree with the other statement! BUT, I had the same thoughts after having my nails done with a violety/grayish color (number 8 to be exact) I feel like I’m too old to wear it and I look like an old lady trying to stay young…

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