Oh, My Nose – Disaster Math, Chapter 2

24 Oct


Plus this:

Charlie, the labrador retriever from hell

Equals a trip to the Emergency Room, a CT scan and this:

It’s always my nose that gets it. If you’re having trouble with this particular equation, allow me to solve for x. We have those windows that tip in for cleaning. That particular window is pretty low to the ground outside. Charlie was outside with his feet on the sill and I was leaning over asking him if he’d like fries with his order (drive-thru, get it? I crack myself up.) The next thing I know, he must have put his paws against the glass because the window tipped/slammed inwards onto my nose. It was awesome.

So there I am, on my knees on the floor, hands over my nose, blood trickling down my fingers – and what does my lovely middle child do? Ask if she can rent a movie. Seriously – where did I go wrong? I am SO using her toothbrush to clean the toilets later.

My nose is a disaster magnet. The perpetrators are almost always my children – and the worst injury was actually caused by aforementioned daughter when she was about three. Here’s a tip: Jumping kid’s skull vs. nose? Skull wins. That was the moment when I fully understood the expression “seeing stars” – I totally did.

So it’s not broken and I don’t have a concussion but I do have a black eye, a steri-strip and a killer headache. All of which justify a nap in my book.

The moral of our story is this: Don’t be a smart ass to your dog, he will get you back.


4 Responses to “Oh, My Nose – Disaster Math, Chapter 2”

  1. Susan October 24, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    Ugh – that is such a bizarre accident! Crazy how that stuff happens. I can definitely relate to/ feel your pain, specifically regarding the (kid) skull vs. nose experience. When that happened to me—(toddler decides to start jumping on the bed while I was reading)—I only wish my daughter had broken it good enough to warrant (plastic) surgery! Nope. Instead, all I got was that incredible pain, partnered with a dose of the most blood I’ve ever seen leave my body. My husband, thankfully, escorted the kids away from the scene, kept me calm, and managed to help me stop the profuse bleeding.

    Anyway, wanted you to know you’re not alone there. Sorry you had to endure the ER on top of all your pain. Glad to hear though, that things are (will be) okay in the end.

    • Beth - Realist Mom October 24, 2011 at 12:03 pm #

      Thanks for the support! It’s funny that you mention the plastic surgery – I’ve been left with a giant bump on the side my nose that is never quite bad enough to have taken care of.
      Thanks for reading!!

  2. Ann R. October 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    While I feel bad for your pain and suffering, you never cease to make me laugh…and when you posted it on Facebook yesterday and then your daughter (WHILE you were at the hospital!) asked you under that post AGAIN if it was OK to rent a movie, I was dying…clearly, your catastrophe (dog-tastrophe?!) was inconvenient for her! Enjoy your nap!

    • Beth - Realist Mom October 24, 2011 at 12:47 pm #

      Thnks Ann. I know, right? Can you stand her?? Even better, this morning, since she was asleep by the time we got home last night, she asked if she could rent a movie when she gets home from school today! I think I’ll have her rub my feet instead!!

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